That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
