She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
