I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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