My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
