Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
