I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
