so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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