fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
try to milk me bitch
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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