i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
