he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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