is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have aggressive nipples.
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