please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
