Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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