I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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