shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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