an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
