PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
