i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
