I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
