need another drink. this is the easiest way
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
