If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
