i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
