This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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