my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
