I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
