I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
