Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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