The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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