So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
