no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He felt like a one man threesome
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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