I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
