my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
