Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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