Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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