Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
