i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
