Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
