I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
