ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
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