so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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