When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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