break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
