Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
