Me too!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
