How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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