I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
