Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
