oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
