That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
