I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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