eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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